When did it  all go wrong?


WHUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
oh BOY!

'Loreal Paris, takes curly, to a whole new level. Because youre worth it'

 Yup. This one carries on on way too many memories.

I will post the link later on, for those interested!

x x xElske.

So it has been a while, right?
Though there isnt a lot to catch up with.
EXEPT for the fact that yesterday, the roof of my house was on FUCKING fire. 
Ó_Ò

I sorta shitted my pants, cause i always sorta trust my dad on beeing able to deal with any kind of situations,
but this time, he also panicked and screamed we had to call the alarm number.
So that was FRIGHTNING, like really really scary.
My mom yelled we had to get out of the house and i ran up to the attic,
to get my most valuable stuff:
my wallet, my 70 Euro's perfume, cellphone, my two newest skinny jeans (v_v) and...
my Gazette DVD;'s 

XDDDDD

What amazing kind of a fan AM I? XD

After everything was allright (the firemen arrived pretty quick!) we all needed to calm down, and call friends and such to tell them they should be glad im still alive.

SO BE GLAD GUYS! Ò_Ó

So now i need to hear my mom tell about our amazing story, to everytone who wants to hear it or not
Also the part of me taking my DVD's wont be forgotten.
Thanks, ma.

SO yeah :)
Oh and Julia, I didnt forget about you, at all.
It's just, I didnt know what i wanted, you know, with the K.U.R.R.A. thingy.
But I do now. Im here for you, once again.
Gomen, i promise I will stay strong, as you asked me to.
Ganbarou~♥

"Even if you die tomorrow, have a life of no regrets."

I read this line today, and i thought 'isn't that totally true?'
Today was one of my down days,
like i got these stages,
one day i will feel totally fine,
next day I will feel so down.

Well, today was one of those days,
but when i read this, i was so inspired.
Isn't this how it should be like?
Living life without having regrets?
And if i'd die tomorrow, what kind of things will there be undone?
What are things i want to do in my life?
Would i look back and be happy?


What are the things that are important to you?
That you want to do before you die, that make you feel proud?

For me, i want to love myself, make myself the person i want to be, find someone who can love me just as much as i love him,
travel (japan, USA, Indonesia), speak japanese fluently, write a book, see Miyavi & Gazette live (for the second time) and i really want to find inner peace.
I want to be able to say what i think, without doubting, i dont want to feel insecure (not often, that is)
I want to be the way i am, the i feel on the inside. I want to make my friends happy and make them remember me.

That's it in big lines *

Well that was me for today teehee.
Take care *~

/Elske

Fufufu~
Haven't been updating for a while now.
*hugs all*

Well life has changed for me you can say.
I lost a friend who was really dear to me, but we just didn't get along.
So I miss her like terribly, she was my ultimate Gazette-soulmate ;p
We've done so many things together,
she got me through my thoughest times, would never give up on me,
would skip school for me anytime i needed support, she was there for me.
We went to Munich in secret, slept in one bed when staying over, people started
seeing us as one person, we were beeing called lesbians even, made future plans,
like moving into one appartement together, start our own buisness (?), all our holidays
would be in Japan, she wanted Kai, and I want Ruki,
everything seemed just perfect.

But it really wasnt i guess, and however I miss it all so much
and it hurts so much to look back on those amazing times,
this time i will stand up for myself.

Perhaps you can see this as a last thing i want to do for her, cause i still love her to death,
she just isnt right for me.
And I guess I'm not for her.
So, goodbye bestest friend Ive ever had.

' Sayonara mata ne genki da ite ne
Zutto zutto wasurenai kara
Sayonara kitto mata aeru yo ne?
Yakusoku da yo! yubikiri genman''

How is that people always know to dissappoint you..
You think you are the best friends ever, and then you find out,
your relationship is actually based on a lot of egocentricness, jealousy and the fear to be left out.

Some people who you love so much,
can suck all the positive energy out of you.
You already feel like crying at the idea of leaving them on its self,
leave alone to actually really DO so.
I won't ever.

But people can be so selfish.
And you know? Internet sucks ass..
All my 'so called friends' never even take the time to think about me,
theyre cought up in their own internet life,
To them: you know? Real life is much more fun.
Try socialising.
Really.

I havnt been really busy online lately and i like it this way, the internet is practically
a lame copy of the real world and i lost respect to a lot of people i used to like and respect earlier on.


people who i really care about know this is not meant to them, like Julia-sama, and also cute littlematsumototaka


GOmen ne.
But it's time for me to lead a real life.

OHMYGOD.
I'm so sorry for fangirling like this,
actually I have pretty much stopped fangirling a while ago,
as my ruki-fangirling-attacks have turned into pure love after the lives,
but today, exuse me:

OMFG!

This day has been full of Ruki-ness.
I saw the new Beatshuffle video with Ruki+Uruha, and ohmygoooooooooood.
I so love that man.
Btw, Uruha has kicked Kai of the second spot, dude, that boy is naive and cute,
without even trying.
I admire that in people, pureness.
And ruki.... damn.
Everytime I think I can NOT love him more, he manages to be like he is and makes me love him moreeee~.
So yeah, I'm in loooooove xD

I'm gonna change my style. I practically had enough of the whole emo/'visual kei'-ish stye,
well if  it's on me that is. I can still love it on other people ^^
But I'd like to be somewhat more femine or however you spell that, i dont care.
And I'm determined to lose some more weight, I feel fat lately.
Anywho, that's where I'm at at the moment,
sorry to bore you guys ouuuut. ;p

I'm going to bed, to probably stare at my just downloaded Ruki-Mobile-Theme :33